You can store things for later! drizzle> select libtcc("#include <string.h>\n#include <stdlib.h>\nint foo(char* s) { char *a= malloc(1000); return snprintf(s, 100, \"%p\", a); }") as RESULT;

+-----------+
| RESULT    |
+-----------+
| 0x199c610 |
+-----------+
1 row in set (0 sec)

drizzle> select libtcc("#include <string.h>\n#include <stdlib.h>\nint foo(char* s) { char *a= 0x199c610; strcpy(a, \"Hello World!\"); strcpy(s,\"done\"); return strlen(s); }") as result;

+--------+
| result |
+--------+
| done   |
+--------+
1 row in set (0.01 sec)

drizzle> select libtcc("#include <string.h>\n#include <stdlib.h>\nint foo(char* s) { char *a= 0x199c610; strcpy(s, a); return strlen(s); }") as result;

+--------------+
| result       |
+--------------+
| Hello World! |
+--------------+
1 …

So, just in case that wasn’t evil enough for you… perhaps you have something you want to know the MD5 checksum of. So, you could just do this:

drizzle> select md5('Hello World!');
+----------------------------------+
| md5('Hello World!')              |
+----------------------------------+
| ed076287532e86365e841e92bfc50d8c |
+----------------------------------+
1 row in set (0 sec)

But that is soooo boring.

Since we have the SSL libs already loaded into Drizzle, and using my very evil libtcc plugin… we could just implement it in C. We can even use malloc!

drizzle> SELECT LIBTCC("#include …

Previously, in “Thoughts on Thoughts on Drizzle” I theorized that one of the major reasons why we did not see lots of people jumping at stored procedures in MySQL was that it wasn’t in their native language (for lack of a better term). We’ve seen External Language Stored Procedures for MySQL that let you write stored procedures in some other languages…. but I felt something was missing.

Firstly, I wanted a language I was really familiar with and comfortable writing complex things in.

Secondly, it should be compiled so that it runs as fast as possible.

Thirdly, it shouldn’t just be linking to a pre-compiled library (drizzle function plugins do that …

When one wants to script automated replication chain building, certain things are quite annoying, like immutable replication configuration variables. For example, at certain moments log_slave_updates is more than needed, and thats what the server says:

mysql> show variables like 'log_slave_updates';
+-------------------+-------+
| Variable_name     | Value |
+-------------------+-------+
| log_slave_updates | OFF   |
+-------------------+-------+
1 row in set (0.00 sec)

mysql> set global log_slave_updates=1;
ERROR 1238 (HY000): Variable 'log_slave_updates' is a read only variable

Of course, there are few options, roll in-house fork (heheeeee!), restart your server, and keep warming up your tens of gigabytes of cache arenas, or wait for MySQL to ship a feature change in next major release. Then there are evil tactics:

mysql> system gdb -p $(pidof mysqld)
                       -ex "set opt_log_slave_updates=1" -batch …